24. Social Nerd... yes.

What Be Your Nerd Type? Your Result: Social Nerd You're interested in things such as politics, psychology, child care, and peace. I wouldn't go so far as to call you a hippie, but some of you may be tree-huggers. You're the type of people who are interested in bettering the world. You're possible the least nerdy of them all; unless you participate in other activies that paled your nerdiness compared to your involvement in social activities. Whatever the case, we could still use more of you around. ^_^
Drama Nerd
Artistic Nerd
Musician
Literature Nerd
Gamer/Computer Nerd
Science/Math Nerd
Anime Nerd
What Be Your Nerd Type? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

I post because that's much more spot on than any "How Nerdy Are You?" quizzes I've taken. :D

23. Past-Meg Does Not Want

Finally writing again - it's true, I failed my NaBloMo goal, however there's always another month and the fact of the matter is I really enjoyed doing it, especially getting feedback from friends I don't get to talk to every day and realising, even if I'm not having new adventures at college every day anymore, my life's still got enough stories to tell not to be boring.

On Tuesday this week, I had a tech meeting in the morning, hosted at my old elementary school. I haven't been there in years so after it was over, I was on my lunch and still had to go to Wal-Mart, sooo I thought I'd take a few minutes to look around before heading out. The obvious reactions were there: I remembered the halls but things have changed - there are new teachers 'names where all the old ones used to be, the walls have been redone here or there, it wasn't nearly as dark as I remembered with the front hall being done completely in a deep brown brick. I thought about popping down to see the old band teacher cause he was a young guy back when I had him and I knew he still worked there... but no. I knew exactly which teacher I couldn't leave without peaking in on. In hindsight I'm a little embarrassed - that morning I'd forgotten to set my alarm for a half hour earlier so I had to run out of the house with no shower or make-up and very frazzled. I wasn't looking my best - don't know why that would matter to a teacher who had me when I wore nothing but sweatpants, or who coached me in those ugly softball uniforms... but it did. I hear Mr. Belter's booming voice before I even got to the end of the hall and lucky for me his door was open and he was standing at the front of the room in perfect eyeline of anyone who walked by. So I gave him a little wave and he obviously recognised me and waved back, although I could tell he wasn't sure how he recognised me. I chilled outside in the hall for a minute or two while he finished telling the kids their math assignment, then he came out to meet me - and I adore Mr. Belter.

He squinted at me and said "I know you..." I laughed, hinted that I was a previous student and softball girl and he I could tell it was on the tip of his tongue. As soon as I gave him my name, he pulled me into one of his big bear hugs and asked me how I was and what I'd been up to. The part that I'm still thinking about is my answer... I told him about my job at this elementary school, I told him I was there for a tech meeting... then I told him I went to school for digital arts, and when he asked if I was done with school I said yes. As in, graduated. I didn't really lie - though I have NO clue why I said digital art when I switched to Studio... and I knew full well he was assuming I graduated, but I didn't clarify otherwise. Then he said, with this big proud grin "I'm not surprised."

Yeah. I wouldn't be either as that's exactly what I was supposed to do - go to school for something I love, graduate with flying colors, be one of those Good Students I always was - not just in Mr. Belter's 6th grade class, but through Jr. High and high school. Ask anyone from my past and they would never have thought I'd be a college dropout. I've been getting away with telling most people that I just withdrew because I wanted to change programs, but the many F's and absences and breakdowns that led to that decision aren't ever in the discussion. The last thing I could do would be to disappoint my absolute favorite teacher in the world. I told him I was working until I could go back to school for education, again, he was ever-so proud and supportive. He brought me into the classroom and asked if I wanted to sit in and help out for the day. I would have given anything to be able to say yes and observe him teach from a non-student perspective. He's so awesomely joke-mean but in that way that makes kids love him - I think that's the skill Kenny always had as a counselor at camp too. I remember him high-fiving my best friend Nina for shoving a kid in the snow because the guy was being a jerkface. I remember him running us every day, got my best mile time ever that year. There was so much about his teaching style that I'm in awe of, because it seems to work on everybody.

He had photocopies of his previous classes from yearbooks and it was fun to find myself. One girl needed help with her math and he directed me over to her saying jokingly that I could probably help her better than he could and then she proceeded to ask me the circumference of a circle and I completely stood there like an idiot with my brain going "Geo...metry? lolwut?" and I had no clue - luckily apparently she wasn't supposed to be working on that and I got out of it but that was slightly frightening.

After ten minutes or so I admitted that I couldn't stay and had to get back to work, so he gave me another rib-crunching hug and we said goodbye. I walked out of there both so happy to have seen him again, especially in the classroom, and also... so, so disappointed in myself. Both that I'd stretched the truth about what I'd done just to make myself look more put together than I am, and of course that I'm not his Good Student anymore. Thinking about it, I feel like I've failed him a bit. Along with a few other teachers, and then of course all the way back to completely failing my parents.

It's all in the past, you know? And what's done is done, it does no good to sit here and stew about what I should have done because for some reason I didn't and the only thing to do is focus one what I'm doing now and what I'm going to do in the future. But I really can't help it when I'm reunited with my past constantly here in Stillwater. I love the town, I've realised that. I know why my parents chose here to live. But I'm getting tired of making up excuses and fibs to connect childhood-Meg with adult-Meg. They're two different people, and while everyone changes... I think I liked childhood-Meg better.

22. Stories from the... computer lab.

Had a fairly relaxing weekend - brother's birthday party happened Saturday night, so that was "exciting". Woo ten 18 year olds hanging out in the living room playing rock band. Wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't been trying to do heroics for the first time in a few weeks, and was on vent at the same time. But yeah, they didn't help me try to reset my sleep schedule.

Anyway, I've got some stuff I want to write about but I'm not really in the mood at the moment, soooo I thought I'd share some stories the kdis have been writing for the newsletter. We've got a variety today:

"I am thankful for big leaf piles." - I can't help it. The writer/artist in me loves this simple sentence.

"Aliens today were invading my house and they had mind controls so they used mind controls on me. Ten I was one of them. Then they took me home." - I just love that mind control is plural.

"My mom feels like a bear. She wants to sleep all winter long. When she wakes up she will feel angry and I just feel like a kid." - ... whaaaat? I'm not sure if I feel sorry for the kid or the mom here.

The rest are standard "I like butterflies. They are cool." "My tooth fell out yesterday" etc.

21. Tidbits

Because I'm too tired today to do the complete paragraphed post thing:

- Yesterday morning I washed my hair with bar soap. For those curious, it does not work as well. Hurrah for being in a rush with no family to come to your aid and not having any shampoo.

- Kids have always mashed the keyboard when they're supposed to be typing their names into the keyboard. Some, however, are getting more creative. Yesterday we had a "dylan.com" and an "undrwar" visit the computer lab.

- Girl-Vader is still pretending she doesn't get Cheating. Luckily I don't think she's actually done it since I've been watching her like a hawk.

- Learned how to use what they call a SMART board during the late start yesterday. They're like a computerized white-board hooked up to an interactive projector. That thing's badass.

- Kids in play practice were already able to read their lines with no scripts at yesterday's rehearsal. Leaves two weeks to just work on blocking and expression. Amazing!

- Last night while rummaging for food, I opened the liquer cabinet to see if anything was stashed away. I saw this new fancy bottle in there, immediately thinking "omg new booze!" It was definitely extra virgin olive oil. Sigh.

- Today li'l S pooped his pants. Ah, the smell of K-1. Poor thing.

- Found out there's a possibility of getting some free WoW game time from a friend. Badaaaaaass!

- Thank god it's Friday. I won't feel bad if I go home and SLEEP.

20. Girl-Vader NOOOoooo...

Thanksgiving break's over and while I really enjoyed sleeping in, and even spending what little time I did with my brother, I need to get back on a normal sleep schedule. I've gotten about 2 hours of sleep for the last couple nights. My problem is I have a really hard time getting to sleep unless I'm so exhausted I have to pass out. Finally got there last night at about 2:30am, konked out while reading something on my laptop and woke up to find my glasses still on and it sitting on the bed in sleep mode.

Ross got Rock Band on Sunday for his birthday, and I think I like it just as much, if not more than he does. We've been having an awesome time with it, even if I have to play drums. I even bonded with his girlfriend when she came over Monday afternoon because she played it with us, and is brave enough to do vocals. We laughed and made fun of the ridiculousness of Ross's character (viking hat, goggles, blue hair and beard, plus the ugly, UGLY color comb of teal and red in all his clothes AND a warped toaster painted on his face). Jen's may have been pink up the wazoo, but at least she matched and had a decent ensemble. But yeah, been gettig my videogame fix from there versus WoW for the last few days. Plus after the mad rush to 80, I think my brain wanted a short break from it. AND I've been getting back to my forum rp a little bit. Took the time to make new journals and write up some bios.

I'm still feeling really good about my job. Seems like every time Im beginning to feel it's at all routine, I have a day that shakes things up. Not always in a positive way, but a lot of times so, and I love it. Today, we had a boy who's usually very enthusiastic and energetic acting sort of blase and apathetic. He didn't want to stick around to finish his work and he was getting unusually poor scores. One of our parent volunteers was starting to have some trouble with him arguing back about trying a lesson again, so I stepped in to deal with it for her - and apparently he needed a bit of a cry. Poor thing had some kids tell him they didn't like him this morning, and he told me he was lonely and asked why no one was playing with him. He's a good kid, too, so we talked about being lonely and that just because his friends weren't playing with him that morning, it didn't mean they didn't like him, etc. etc. He calmed down and seemed to understand, then tried his lesson again, acing it.

I dunno, kids get upset about this stuff all the time, plus some kids are just little assholes to each other, but this morning struck me a little bit. Not so much that he had that problem, it's not an unusual one for a kid to have, but that I knew how to talk with him about it. Not only that but instead of just trying to get him to cooperate and do his work, that I knew him well enough to ask "what's wrong?" instead. I could just tell he wasn't being himself. It reassured me that yes, I am good at this job outside of the computer part and busy work. I'm getting the differences in how to handle the kids, from the kids in the new play and having a Respect Rule during play practice right from the get-go, where no one talks while people are reading their lines, to this boy who really just needed to talk to someone before he could go back to feeling better and doing his work, to Girl-Vader, who I sadly caught literally CHEATING yesterday. The scores for the lessons just come up in a text document, and as awesomely smart as H is, she figured out it's easily editable and switched the numbers so she had a 9/9. I'd been suspicious for a bit when she'd been getting 7/9, the exact minimum she needed right, on her last 5 lessons but hadn't been able to catch her or Undo the document to the point to see it. (Stupid 1-step only Undo/Redo - I hate it) Luckily, the boy sitting next to her caught her and told me and I was able to Undo and see her original 5/9 score. Sigh. I think the saying about intelligence vs. obedience in dogs can be so true with kids too - the smarter they are, the less they listen to you. It's almost frightening how manipulative Girl-Vader can be. I hope she learns.

But yeah, I'm definitely feeling more comfortable in handling the little kiddos lately. Now if I could just stay awake for the week, I'll survive to winter break.

EDIT: HAHAHA little C, a boy I adore, is sitting across from me doing Spelling Blaster. I coughed and he turned to look at me - then he WINKED and said "piece of cake" and turned back to his computer. Oh yeah, and this morning I had J ask me "Are you even doing work?" when he saw me working (yes, working) on my laptop while the volunteers took care of the lab supervision. <3 them.